• Darrell Kendall

How Do I Update Google Maps? Cause this Farm Has a Name


Parents struggle to pick names for their kids. That string of characters that make distinct sounds and eventually create a word, ultimately become part of that persons lifelong identity. Names can change (see also; World Peace, Meta and Ochocinco, Chad), but for most, thats it. Luckily I have not yet had to name a kid.  When I was a kid I confidently declared to my mother that when I have a son I would name him "Tractor." I can't be trusted. Thats a true story.


Farms, like people, also have personality. Like businesses though, they need to marketed- another consideration in the naming process. This responsibility has been on my mind since I moved in just under a year ago, and was something that I wanted to happen organically. Over that time there were many ideas that popped into my head like--- "Pretty Ass Farm," which was predicated on having a donkey, or just going with the "Halfassed Homestead" idea. I thought about products that I may market and applied names to those "D-Money's Honey," "Dick's Chick's Egg Factory" (College nickname),"Band Dork Pork" or "Wham, Bam Thank You Ham." While they all made me laugh at some point, none of those really conveyed that "I really want to put that farms food in my mouth" feeling. So I shelved the task for a while.


Sure enough, on Saturday night as I laid on the couch in the basement, watching mindless television, it hit me. I had just spent lots of time with my family in less than ideal circumstances, and eased nervousness on several occasion by making jokes like "get better soon Pizza, you have chicken shit to clean up!" That was it, for now nearly every new plan I make I envision with slightly older versions of my nieces helping out, enjoying, and bragging about to their friends (let me dream). Also, if I kick the bucket earlier than planned, by namkesaking the two of them I will have guilted someone into carrying on my vision and my legacy.


With the theme of 2018 being "From Fraud to Farm," I am excited to announce that the Halfassed Homestead will be known as and do business as "Soluna Farms." A conglomeration of Furby and Pizza's middle names, Luna and Sol, Moon and Sun. The name is not only a reminder of why I get so excited about this, but also evokes visions of a natural, cyclical pattern upon which any growing and producing success is built. It also has just enough sophistication to it, that I could actually market a product as more than just a gimmick.  The last reason, and perhaps the most important is that everyone in my family likes those two more than me, so its the easiest way to mooch labor, design services, and legal advice. Really, that's the important part.

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17848 Munn Rd. 

Chagrin Falls, OH 44023