Till Death Did He Hoard: The Story of a Crazy Old Man
Today, boys and girls, we will have a brief history lesson. This history lesson contains something that resembles fact, and has been passed down to me from various sources. In reality, its possible that this bit of history is as accurate as the tall tales of Paul Bunyan, Johnny Appleseed, and Casey Jones. No matter how much truth is contained in this tale, it makes a great narrative for the renaissance of these magical 558003.6 square feet.
Once upon a time, in a town far far away there was a house that was owned by crazy old man. As the man aged, he drank more and more of the clear stuff. In fact, consumed so much that his brain began to pickle. The more he drank the loonier he got. This Monster-On-Munn loved to collect and save things. "Do you want...." the villagers would ask, and before they could finish, the Monster-On-Munn would interrupt, "well of course I want it!"
"But you don't know what it is!" said the villager, "what ever will you do with this rusty old frame from a camping cot?"
"I will throw it in the woods!" exclaimed the Monster, "where it will rot away until I am dead and gone, and some poor bastard has to clean it up!"
This went on for years, until the Monster indeed bit the final bullet. While he had lost his marbles, the Monster could not have been more right about the cleanup effort that has fallen on the shoulders of "some poor bastard" (spoiler alert-I'm that guy!) There will undoubtedly be more to come about our friend the Monster in future stories. For today's purposes though, this is just about enough.
As I have begun to prepare the grounds of the HAH for the first spring of production, I have run across many crazy things. Tractor implements buried in the woods, piles of debris, and there are enough broken bricks to pave the road to hell with something besides good intentions. Most of it is complete and unmitigated shit. But where there is junk, a man is sure to find treasure. So they say.
I have high hopes of salvaging what I can. I suppose this is the start of hoarder mentality, but I will be very careful not to over-save. I have already started to use some of it, and I will post soon about the resurrection of some farming tools. For now, I am most excited about my shiny (not shiny), new (to me) work bench that I pulled out of a pile a crap. This bench with nothing more than a quick removal of residual mud has become my lumberjacking headquarters. The saws, the axes, the oils and tools, and the safety gear all have found a home in this fancy new bench. It is suprisingly perfect in this role.
This was an easy conversion, but a perfect example of how on the HAH we can, should, and will find ways to turn the monster's collections into new and useful pieces of the farming puzzle. While I hope not to find too much more stuff- especially nails in tractor tires--I do kind of like the idea that I can and will turn old run down crap in to resources that provide value.